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Healing is hard. That's it. That's the message. I won't even try to sugarcoat the rollercoaster that your healing journey will take you through because ain't shit sweet — in the moment, at least. I'm currently venturing through one of those moments. I'm healing but it doesn't feel good right now, it feels heavy and almost suffocating at times. This is one of those times where telling up from down is difficult and all I can do is wait it out and process my emotions along the way. This leg of my journey feels lonely even though I'm far from alone.
Healing will always have it's ups and it's downs. It won't always be fun, exciting, or pleasurable. Healing won't always look like what social media and the internet tend to portray either. It's not always pretty or glamorous. It's not always photography worthy because who really wants to document those trying times if they don't have to? It's not exactly enjoyable to all and understandably so. Plus, have you seen my ugly crying face?! Well, you don't need to and hopefully you never will.
When I first started writing this, I was DEEP in my feelings and now I feel like I'm beginning to float above water again. I will scream "feel your feelings" until the death of me because that's my motto in life. I truly allowed myself to feel exactly what I was going through and it was hard, but it was so necessary. This meant allowing myself to be down in the dumps while attempting not to analyze every feeling and instead just letting nature take it's course. Not every moment will be a high, there will be midpoints and low points, too, and understanding how to manage those low points is so crucial. Life is not like those animated films we watched as children. Life is not a fairytale and that's ok. Does that mean there's no whimsy or wonder? Of course not. There definitely is, but it's not how many of us imagined it being now that we're farther into adulthood. I say all this to say, enjoy your life. Enjoy it outside of work and your responsibilities. Make time for lighthearted fun because you will drain yourself dry trying to keep up with the speed of the world. Have fun simply because you deserve it. Smile more. Laugh more. Appreciate those little moments of joy as they come along because those moments will give you a hand you through the hard times. Remember, you're living a very human experience during dystopian times and that will impact you and understandably so. Do what you can to protect and honor your health (mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual). This is not a time to look away but it is still important to prioritize your health and happiness during these times, as well. You are loved. Keep going♡
***I figured out how to type out em-dashes (—) on my phone, so prepared to get tired of me. Reminder: This is not AI slop. This is authentic slop generated by my brain!
I only want what wants me. I only want what I am truly deserving of and this is my declaration of that statement. I spent so many years doing the things that I believed would help me to be loved for who I truly am, but how could I expect that to happen when I wasn't even being myself? I was presenting fragmented pieces of myself in hopes that someone would still see the beauty in all my jagged edges. My hopes turned into disappointment at every turn and looking back, I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that I was let down. If it wasn't for those experiences and lessons, then I wouldn't be as equipped for love as I am now. No Love Lost (Only Gained) is a testament to my healing journey and growth. Thank you to me.
You want to know a secret? Well, it's not a secret at all. I've been single since high school, which if my calculations are right, was roughly 15 years ago. To many, it's shocking. To me, it's normal. I chose this life because I wanted to spend time getting to know myself in-depthly. Back then, I couldn't even describe who I was or what I wanted, so there was obviously tons of self-work to be done and I accomplished that goal. I, of course, still wanted to experience love and it's wonders, and the majority of that experience centered around my friendships. I learned so much through my experiences with friends and it honestly changed the way that I view love, connection, and romance. The heartbreaks that I experienced shattered the rose colored glasses that I had been wearing up until that point. There was no more lying to myself and treating love like a perfect fairytale. Love isn't anything that I thought it was and that changed my perspective on everything. I really thought that I knew what I wanted but of course, I was wrong. Reframe: thankfully I was wrong.
During my journey, despite who I lost, I always gained something in return whether that was peace, guidance, or alignment. One person's exit set off a domino effect and it led to it happening again and again. The more I realized my worth, the easier I was able to see situations and connections for what they really were. I was finally able to see the truth of the matter and that shined light on other areas of my life that needed tending to. I'm grateful for those endings because they helped me learn my worth each and every time. Those endings led me to beautiful new beginnings. I might've lost important people along the way but what I gained is invaluable and I wouldn't trade it for the world. This journey has not been an easy one but it has been purposeful and consistently eye-opening.
Through my friends, I am learning what love is supposed to feel like. I'm falling in love with life all over again thanks to my friends. This is a very pivotal time in my life where I'm being pushed towards love in all forms. I'm learning to let love in without fear or control. Right now, I'm building a sturdy foundation that can withstand the weight of what is being called into my life. I'm finally realizing how deserving of love I really am and there's no need to let fear freeze me in my tracks. I feel empowered and also excited for what is to come. I'm in my ultimate lover girl era and that begins with me continuing to pour into myself, as well as my loved one's. I no longer accept taking a backseat in my own life and from here on out, I'm in the drivers seat, front and center.
Who I'm doing this all for because little me deserves the world and she's gonna get it:
It's the beginning of the year and here I am, again reflecting. Reflecting on my life and my path. Reflecting on the choices I've made and where they've taken me. I'm proud to say that the I've made it to where I've always wanted to be—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The countless years spent investing into myself are sprouting results in ways that I didn't know were possible for me. I feel like I'm finally in a space where every green light is going off in my head as a way to prepare me for what is to come. To prepare me to receive what I've been working towards this entire time.
I can see the changes in the way that I walk but especially in the way that I speak. That blocked throat chakra that I've been dealing with for quite sometime finally feels like it never even existed. What once hindered me is now beginning to empower me. I see strength and willpower where I used to see fear. This is a period of me stepping into my power in exciting and unexpected ways. Everything is beginning to line up for me and make sense. I understand why certain situations had to happen the way they did. I understand why certain opportunities were blocked from me when they were. I understand why I had to wait. My spirit team told me to have patience and I committed to the plot. Was it easy? Honestly, hell no, but was it worth it? Absolutely.
I've seen a shift in the people who I call loved ones ever since I stopped trying to be everyone's everything and shifted the focus onto myself. I've spent almost the last three years unlearning and relearning more than I ever have. So many tough lessons back to back, but would I change my experience if I could? No. I'm genuinely happy with where I'm at in life and with the people I choose to share and open my life to. I see the people around me healing and glowing so beautifully. I see people who are making their own ways even when things get hard. I see their beauty, their smiles, their struggles, and I also have the honor of seeing them overcome even the tallest and steepest of mountains. I also see myself in the people around me and I feel like they see that, too.
As my life opens up, so has my heart. I am so full of love and have so much love to give. My heart space is open and operating, and it feels amazing. I'm back to creating beautiful art, cooking appealing meals, and doing the things that I love to do but hadn't had the energy or will to complete, but things are changing. Depression, anxiety, and panic attacks have always been key elements in my life, so watching myself slowly adapt has been quite the sight to see. I remember a few years ago when I was having panic attacks every night for a month and could barely manage to sleep. Sleep deprivation crept in and not only was I was delirious, I was miserable, but still, I was patient with myself. There was no "fixing" me overnight, so I had no choice but to be patient. That one was a tough pill to swallow but it had to happen for me to get to where I'm at now.
2025 really took me through the ringer. For me, it was a year of closure, erasure, endings, and preparation. I was at a point in life where I could no longer make excuses for myself or others. I started taking people's words and actions at face value in new ways. I no longer dismissed the disrespectful remarks disguised as jokes. I stopped tending to people's every wound and allowed them to figure things out for themselves. I became more hands off to others because I needed to focus on myself. There was no way I could continue to justify the role that I was playing in other people's lives. I naturally embody the caregiver/therapist archetype and that's what I was known for. I was the eternal helper who needed to learn to help and save herself, and I did it. I successfully did it even when I didn't always believe that I could.
My most important lesson of 2025 is that my power is not something that can be stripped from me. My light is not something that can be dimmed no matter how hard someone tries. 2026 is the year of me applying what I have learned last year and adjusting to who I have grown to become. This year is going to be full of unexpected twists and turns, but I'm ready. I'm not going to hit the ground running this year and instead will be flowing into this year with ease and patience because that's what I need—it's also what so much of the collective needs. Protect your energy and your peace. Take your time when possible. If certain things weren't working out before, then try doing things differently. Remember, there's no making it through a dead-end situation or path because all you can really do is turn around and go a different route. Re-routing will be crucial. The need to break things down into small actionable and manageable steps is something I've been feeling intuitively. Listen to your intuition this year and you will be more than fine.
You glow differently when you're happy and this is my time to allow myself to shine, rather than continue to diminish my own light and hide from my true path and purpose♡
Take 20% off your entire order from now until the final day of the year. This includes readings, e-books, spiritual oils, and more. Thank you for your continued support!
I hope you all have a wonderful month! I can't believe that it's already the end of the year but especially the end of this 9 year. I took November off as I adjusted to being back in university but I'm slowly but surely coming back!
If you are interested in booking a reading or in making a purchase, use code VENUS for 20% off until the last day of 2025. Tell your friends and family that The Golden Venusian is having a saaaale♡
